CONLANG Translation Relay 16

A Comparison of the Smooth English Translations

The original schedule is at FrathWiki.

Sequential Comparisons for Each Ring

I've broken down each entry into clauses as well as sentences, but not consistently.

Most of the smooth English translations of are the translator's outgoing text; following tradition most participants supply only that version, although a small number have provided both. In one case, the incoming translation is used, since that's what was provided. There are two versions of the Classical Arithide text, of which the next participant translated the shorter one. However, the only smooth English provided was of the longer one.

Ring A
Ithkuil -- John Quijada Old Albic -- Jörg Rhiemeier
  1. People who try to limit standards of moral behavior via religious institutions struggle futilely.
  2. One fails to keep the human spirit shackled given its needs and great vigor.
  1. People who try to force virtue by belief, struggle in vain.
  2. They hold on to strong fetters of the soul.
Old Albic -- Jörg Rhiemeier Neimalu -- G.V. Pieterson
  1. People who try to force virtue by belief, struggle in vain.
  2. They hold on to strong fetters of the soul.
  1. One who lives by a religion, struggles with living morally.
  2. They keep holding on to the strong limitations of their minds.
Neimalu -- G.V. Pieterson Xara -- Jim Taylor
  1. One who lives by a religion, struggles with living morally.
  2. They keep holding on to the strong limitations of their minds.
 (translation from Neimalu)
  1. He who follows a religion struggles with life in terms of morality.
  2. He will always have a limit upon his soul.
Xara -- Jim Taylor Pilovese -- Scotto Hlad
(translation from Neimalu)
  1. He who follows a religion struggles with life in terms of morality.
  2. He will always have a limit upon his soul.
  1. The one who follows his religion and encounters a crisis in his belief
  2. always has a healthy spiritual boundry.
Pilovese -- Scotto Hlad West Germanic -- Sean Carl Anderson
  1. The one who follows his religion and encounters a crisis in his belief
  2. always has a healthy spiritual boundry.
  1. One who follows his religion and meets a crisis of his belief
  2. always has a healthy spiritual barrier.
West Germanic -- Sean Carl Anderson Rokbeigalmki -- Steg Belsky
  1. One who follows his religion and meets a crisis of his belief
  2. always has a healthy spiritual barrier.
  1. A human being who follows their beliefs --
  2. if they encounter tragedy,
  3. their faith will always heal them at the edge,
  4. with life-force healing.
Rokbeigalmki -- Steg Belsky Vozgian -- Jan van Steenbergen
  1. A human being who follows their beliefs --
  2. if they encounter tragedy,
  3. their faith will always heal them at the edge,
  4. with life-force healing.
  1. A person should always follow his own beliefs.
  2. When some terrible misfortune meets him on his path,
  3. his faith will always protect him,
  4. along with his power of spirit,
  5. so that not a single border will be crossed.
Vozgian -- Jan van Steenbergen mirexu -- Amanda Babcock Furrow
  1. A person should always follow his own beliefs.
  2. When some terrible misfortune meets him on his path,
  3. his faith will always protect him,
  4. along with his power of spirit,
  5. so that not a single border will be crossed.
  1. A man should not cease to follow his belief.
  2. Great sorrow may happen on the path.
  3. His belief and strength of spirit will save him every time.
  4. No border will be crossed.
mirexu -- Amanda Babcock Furrow Suraetua -- Lars Finsen
  1. A man should not cease to follow his belief.
  2. Great sorrow may happen on the path.
  3. His belief and strength of spirit will save him every time.
  4. No border will be crossed.
  1. It is the duty of every man to listen to his spiritual knowledge,
  2. or much sorrow may befall him on his path.
  3. His faith and spiritual strength then will always save him,
  4. and he will never go outside the border towards the unknown.
Suraetua -- Lars Finsen iljena -- Peter Bleackley
  1. It is the duty of every man to listen to his spiritual knowledge,
  2. or much sorrow may befall him on his path.
  3. His faith and spiritual strength then will always save him,
  4. and he will never go outside the border towards the unknown.
  1. All people have a duty to listen well to the knowledge of the spirit,
  2. otherwise great sorrow will happen on their path.
  3. Faith constantly saves them with strength of spirit,
  4. otherwise they will never cross the border of the unknown.
iljena -- Peter Bleackley Ithkuil -- John Quijada
  1. All people have a duty to listen well to the knowledge of the spirit,
  2. otherwise great sorrow will happen on their path.
  3. Faith constantly saves them with strength of spirit,
  4. otherwise they will never cross the border of the unknown.
  1. All people must act with good morals in how they teach others about spirituality,
  2. or there will be great sorrow along the way.
  3. The spirit always gives people the faith to be strong,
  4. or people will cross over into the stillness of death.
Ring B
Ithkuil -- John Quijada Kamakawi -- David J. Peterson
  1. People who try to limit standards of moral behavior via religious institutions struggle futilely.
  2. One fails to keep the human spirit shackled given its needs and great vigor.
  1. Those who attempt to constrain their conduct with religion
  2. fail to do so.
  3. One can't reel in human nature,
  4. on account of its need and vitality.
Kamakawi -- David J. Peterson Classical Arithide -- Eugene Oh
  1. Those who attempt to constrain their conduct with religion
  2. fail to do so.
  3. One can't reel in human nature,
  4. on account of its need and vitality.
  1. Is it not inevitable that in trying to regulate their personal conduct by means of religion people meet with failure,
  2. whether from inadequacies of their own or of religion?
  3. The rambunctious nature of humans can tolerate no inhibitions on itself, nor are we, its master, willing -- or, indeed, able! -- to impose the bridle of prohibition on it,
  4. for we have need of its very vitality, and draw upon it through every day.
Classical Arithide -- Eugene Oh Taruven -- Taliesin
  1. Is it not inevitable that in trying to regulate their personal conduct by means of religion people meet with failure,
  2. whether from inadequacies of their own or of religion?
  3. The rambunctious nature of humans can tolerate no inhibitions on itself, nor are we, its master, willing -- or, indeed, able! -- to impose the bridle of prohibition on it,
  4. for we have need of its very vitality, and draw upon it through every day.
  1. Attempting to control people's behavior through religion always fails.
  2. Do not change another's personality,
  3. indeed it is not possible,
  4. we need it and life.
Taruven -- Taliesin Slovianski -- Jan van Steenbergen
  1. Attempting to control people's behavior through religion always fails.
  2. Do not change another's personality,
  3. indeed it is not possible,
  4. we need it and life.
  1. Efforts to control our behaviour by means of religion are always doomed to failure.
  2. Let us not change our personalities into something else,
  3. because indeed, we are unable to do that;
  4. our personality is as necessary to us as life itself.
Slovianski -- Jan van Steenbergen Urianian -- Lars Finsen
  1. Efforts to control our behaviour by means of religion are always doomed to failure.
  2. Let us not change our personalities into something else,
  3. because indeed, we are unable to do that;
  4. our personality is as necessary to us as life itself.
  1. Efforts to control our behaviour with religion are destined to fail.
  2. Let's not change our character into something else,
  3. for doing that is indeed impossible for us;
  4. our character is not less essential to us than our life.
Urianian -- Lars Finsen Old Tükwäi -- Leland Kusmer
  1. Efforts to control our behaviour with religion are destined to fail.
  2. Let's not change our character into something else,
  3. for doing that is indeed impossible for us;
  4. our character is not less essential to us than our life.
  1. With effort, religions controlling our behavior must end in failure.
  2. One must not change one's character into another;
  3. for us to do this would be completely impossible.
  4. Our behavior, compared to living, is not less important.
Old Tükwäi -- Leland Kusmer Terkunan -- Henrik Theiling
  1. With effort, religions controlling our behavior must end in failure.
  2. One must not change one's character into another;
  3. for us to do this would be completely impossible.
  4. Our behavior, compared to living, is not less important.
  1. Ultimately, religion causes one's behaviour to culminate in failure.
  2. Change your manners,
  3. so totality does not become the center!
  4. One's manners are not more important than one's life.
Terkunan -- Henrik Theiling Tirelat -- Herman Miller
  1. Ultimately, religion causes one's behaviour to culminate in failure.
  2. Change your manners,
  3. so totality does not become the center!
  4. One's manners are not more important than one's life.
  1. In the end, spiritual tradition will bring your actions to a peak,
  2. resulting in failure.
  3. Change your manner
  4. because all things must not arrive at their center.
  5. Your manner is not as important as your life!
Tirelat -- Herman Miller Vallés -- Jeffrey S. Jones
  1. In the end, spiritual tradition will bring your actions to a peak,
  2. resulting in failure.
  3. Change your manner
  4. because all things must not arrive at their center.
  5. Your manner is not as important as your life!
  1. Finally, a tradition with spirit will lead your actions to the top,
  2. resulting in loss.
  3. Change how you behave,
  4. because not all things should come to the middle.
  5. How you behave is as important as your life!
Vallés -- Jeffrey S. Jones Silindion -- Elliot Lash
  1. Finally, a tradition with spirit will lead your actions to the top,
  2. resulting in loss.
  3. Change how you behave,
  4. because not all things should come to the middle.
  5. How you behave is as important as your life!
  1. In the end, betrayal of the soul will bring your actions to the very breaking point,
  2. resulting in error.
  3. Change the manner that you behave yourself,
  4. for everything should not be taken as pertaining to yourself.
  5. Your behavior is more important than life as such.
Silindion -- Elliot Lash Kash -- Roger Mills
  1. In the end, betrayal of the soul will bring your actions to the very breaking point,
  2. resulting in error.
  3. Change the manner that you behave yourself,
  4. for everything should not be taken as pertaining to yourself.
  5. Your behavior is more important than life as such.
  1. Spiritual untrustworthiness (=betrayal) in the end brings your actions to an extremely difficult condition,
  2. at the same time it causes evil.
  3. And so change your way of behaving,
  4. because you must not view other people as if they were the same as yourself.
  5. It is behavior more important than life,
  6. therefore it must exist.
Kash -- Roger Mills mabri -- Clayton Cardoso
  1. Spiritual untrustworthiness (=betrayal) in the end brings your actions to an extremely difficult condition,
  2. at the same time it causes evil.
  3. And so change your way of behaving,
  4. because you must not view other people as if they were the same as yourself.
  5. It is behavior more important than life,
  6. therefore it must exist.
  1. The untrustworthiness of the soul finally brings your doings to the very difficult situation,
  2. simultaneously causes moral-badness.
  3. And so change your method about your behaviour,
  4. because you needn't consider other persons as the same as yourself.
  5. Their behaviour is more important than life,
  6. therefore it must exist.
mabri -- Clayton Cardoso gjâ-zym-byn -- Jim Henry
  1. The untrustworthiness of the soul finally brings your doings to the very difficult situation,
  2. simultaneously causes moral-badness.
  3. And so change your method about your behaviour,
  4. because you needn't consider other persons as the same as yourself.
  5. Their behaviour is more important than life,
  6. therefore it must exist.
  1. In the end, the emotional faculty is unreliable;
  2. thus in difficult circumstances,
  3. actions result from it which cause evil events.
  4. So gradually change your environment and your actions,
  5. because you do not need to consider other people the same as you.
  6. Because different people are dissimilar,
  7. their way of doing things must have this nature.
gjâ-zym-byn -- Jim Henry Ithkuil -- John Quijada
  1. In the end, the emotional faculty is unreliable;
  2. thus in difficult circumstances,
  3. actions result from it which cause evil events.
  4. So gradually change your environment and your actions,
  5. because you do not need to consider other people the same as you.
  6. Because different people are dissimilar,
  7. their way of doing things must have this nature.
  1. In the end, it is the faculty of love one should not trust.
  2. Therefore, when one deals with a difficult set of circumstances,
  3. it is the act of something happening at the source that results in frowned-upon moral behavior.
  4. One must therefore gradually change one's actions and environment
  5. because one doesn't need to consider other people being the same as oneself.
  6. Because other people are not the same as oneself,
  7. their way of doing things must be that essential quality over there.
Ring C
Ithkuil -- John Quijada Kēlen -- Sylvia Sotomayor
  1. People who try to limit standards of moral behavior via religious institutions struggle futilely.
  2. One fails to keep the human spirit shackled given its needs and great vigor.
  1. Various religions arise from our spirit,
  2. and right arises from religion.
  3. From our spirit's need, from our spirit's vigor arises determinedly the attempt to act with correctness
  4. even though we express any number of doubts towards religion.
Kēlen -- Sylvia Sotomayor Asha'ille -- Arthaey Angosii
....
  1. Various religions arise from our spirit,
  2. and right arises from religion.
  3. From our spirit's need, from our spirit's vigor arises determinedly the attempt to act with correctness
  4. even though we express any number of doubts towards religion.
 Morality
  1. Our souls make us feel responsible to others,
  2. and this feeling of responsibility makes use act with compassion.
  3. Because of the needs and strength of our souls,
  4. we determinedly try to act with compassion.
  5. However, and surprisingly,
  6. some people feel doubts about this feeling of responsibility.
Asha'ille -- Arthaey Angosii Pinuyo -- René Uittenbogaard
Morality
  1. Our souls make us feel responsible to others,
  2. and this feeling of responsibility makes use act with compassion.
  3. Because of the needs and strength of our souls,
  4. we determinedly try to act with compassion.
  5. However, and surprisingly,
  6. some people feel doubts about this feeling of responsibility.
 Feeling morals
  1. All souls cause everyone to feel each other's morals,
  2. which causes them to act with compassionate responsability.
  3. Because of vitality and needs of everyone's soul,
  4. [one] tries to act determinedly with compassionate responsability,
  5. but, oh surprise,
  6. few people feel doubts about feeling morals.
Pinuyo -- René Uittenbogaard A:jat he-Heloun -- Alex Fink
Feeling morals
  1. All souls cause everyone to feel each other's morals,
  2. which causes them to act with compassionate responsability.
  3. Because of vitality and needs of everyone's soul,
  4. [one] tries to act determinedly with compassionate responsability,
  5. but, oh surprise,
  6. few people feel doubts about feeling morals.
 Feeling[1] moralities[2]
  1. All people behave with compassionate responsibility[3],
  2. because each person's[4] heart[5] makes them feel the morality of every other person.
  3. They try with determination to behave with compassionate responsibility,
  4. because of a vital need[6] of their hearts.
  5. However, few people doubt any of[7] the morality they feel.
  6. Who woulda thunk it[8]?
A:jat he-Heloun -- Alex Fink Naisek -- Jeffrey S. Jones
Feeling[1] moralities[2]
  1. All people behave with compassionate responsibility[3],
  2. because each person's[4] heart[5] makes them feel the morality of every other person.
  3. They try with determination to behave with compassionate responsibility,
  4. because of a vital need[6] of their hearts.
  5. However, few people doubt any of[7] the morality they feel.
  6. Who woulda thunk it[8]?
 Understanding the Virtues
  1. Every person behaves with compassionate concern about failings,
  2. the heart of each person making him or her understand
  3. about the virtues of each other person.
  4. They try to behave determinedly with compassionate concern about failings,
  5. the needs of their hearts being very important.
  6. But few persons doubt one virtue;
  7. they understand about it.
  8. I'm not sure.
Naisek -- Jeffrey S. Jones Vetela -- Kinetic
Understanding the Virtues
  1. Every person behaves with compassionate concern about failings,
  2. the heart of each person making him or her understand
  3. about the virtues of each other person.
  4. They try to behave determinedly with compassionate concern about failings,
  5. the needs of their hearts being very important.
  6. But few persons doubt one virtue;
  7. they understand about it.
  8. I'm not sure.
 Understanding virtue
  1. All people act with compassionate tolerance of faults,
  2. each person's heart making them understand
  3. about the virtues of each other person.
  4. They endeavour to act with compassionate tolerance of faults,
  5. making the needs of their hearts very important.
  6. But few people doubt one virtue;
  7. they understand it.
  8. I'm not sure.
Vetela -- Kinetic Khangaþyagon -- Peter Bleackley
Understanding virtue
  1. All people act with compassionate tolerance of faults,
  2. each person's heart making them understand
  3. about the virtues of each other person.
  4. They endeavour to act with compassionate tolerance of faults,
  5. making the needs of their hearts very important.
  6. But few people doubt one virtue;
  7. they understand it.
  8. I'm not sure.
 Understanding virtue
  1. Let all people act with compassionate tolerance of faults.
  2. Each persons feellings make him understand the virtues of others.
  3. Try to act with compassionate toleration of faults,
  4. this is the most important need of the heart.
  5. But few people doubt virtue,
  6. they understand it.
  7. I am not certain.
Khangaþyagon -- Peter Bleackley Gwr -- Roger Mills
Understanding virtue
  1. Let all people act with compassionate tolerance of faults.
  2. Each persons feellings make him understand the virtues of others.
  3. Try to act with compassionate toleration of faults,
  4. this is the most important need of the heart.
  5. But few people doubt virtue,
  6. they understand it.
  7. I am not certain.
 The true knowledge of goodness
  1. All people must act with toleration and sympathy for faults.
  2. The feelings of each person cause him to know the goodness of others.
  3. They must try to act with toleration and sympathy for faults.
  4. This thing is the most important need of the heart,
  5. but few people question (doubt) the goodness they know.
  6. I am not certain.
Gwr -- Roger Mills Azurian -- Lars Finsen
The true knowledge of goodness
  1. All people must act with toleration and sympathy for faults.
  2. The feelings of each person cause him to know the goodness of others.
  3. They must try to act with toleration and sympathy for faults.
  4. This thing is the most important need of the heart,
  5. but few people question (doubt) the goodness they know.
  6. I am not certain.
 ....
  1. It is a true wisdom for everyone to be broadminded and compassionate towards wrongdoers.
  2. The sensibility of each person enables them to recognise the good in all people.
  3. They must try to be broadminded and compassionate towards all faults.
  4. This is the heart's most needful demand.
  5. Only few people investigate that which they pretend to know.
  6. I am myself not sure.
Azurian -- Lars Finsen Limciela -- Jim Taylor
  1. It is a true wisdom for everyone to be broadminded and compassionate towards wrongdoers.
  2. The sensibility of each person enables them to recognise the good in all people.
  3. They must try to be broadminded and compassionate towards all faults.
  4. This is the heart's most needful demand.
  5. Only few people investigate that which they pretend to know.
  6. I am myself not sure.
  1. It is true wisdom for someone to show sinners tolerance and compassion.
  2. He who does this does so in the full recognition of such a person.
  3. He must try to show tolerance and compassion towards any sin.
  4. This is the most necessary requirement of the heart.
  5. Only a few people seek that which they believe to know.
  6. I myself am not sure.
Limciela -- Jim Taylor Ithkuil -- John Quijada
  1. It is true wisdom for someone to show sinners tolerance and compassion.
  2. He who does this does so in the full recognition of such a person.
  3. He must try to show tolerance and compassion towards any sin.
  4. This is the most necessary requirement of the heart.
  5. Only a few people seek that which they believe to know.
  6. I myself am not sure.
  1. For a person to tolerate and act compassionately toward a wrongdoer is truly wise.
  2. Such a person recognizes the wrongdoer completely.
  3. One must try to tolerate and have compassion for any wrongdoing.
  4. That is what the heart needs most.
  5. Only a few persons seek what they think they know.
  6. I don't feel certain about it.

Comparison of Original and Final Texts

Summary
Original Ring A Ring B Ring C
- 1 -
People who try to limit standards of moral behavior via religious institutions struggle futilely.		 All people must act with good morals in how they teach others about spirituality, or there will be great sorrow along the way. In the end, it is the faculty of love one should not trust.
Therefore, when one deals with a difficult set of circumstances, it is the act of something happening at the source that results in frowned-upon moral behavior.		 For a person to tolerate and act compassionately toward a wrongdoer is truly wise.
Such a person recognizes the wrongdoer completely.
- 2 -
One fails to keep the human spirit shackled given its needs and great vigor.		 The spirit always gives people the faith to be strong, or people will cross over into the stillness of death. One must therefore gradually change one's actions and environment because one doesn't need to consider other people being the same as oneself.
Because other people are not the same as oneself, their way of doing things must be that essential quality over there.		 One must try to tolerate and have compassion for any wrongdoing.
That is what the heart needs most.
Only a few persons seek what they think they know.
I don't feel certain about it.

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page started: 2008.Nov.13 Thu
last modified: 2008.Dec.11 Thu
form originated by qiihoskeh;
smooth English translations copyright the named authors.